


zodiac shift

by glacecherie



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glacecherie/pseuds/glacecherie
Summary: When Mitch goes to sleep, he's in his house in Toronto, smarting from a loss enough that he turns down Auston's offer of Fortnite and Secret Snacks that weren't on their diet plan. Truthfully, he'd have loved that, but lately he's been holding Auston at arms length, just until he can get rid of his stupid crush.When he wakes up he's 2 months in the future, has another tattoo, and is being held close against Auston's chest.





	1. dawn

When Mitch goes to sleep, he's in his house in Toronto, smarting from a loss enough that he turns down Auston's offer of Fortnite and Secret Snacks that weren't on their diet plan. Truthfully, he'd have loved that, but lately he's been holding Auston at arms length, just until he can get rid of his stupid crush.

When he wakes up he's 2 months in the future, has another tattoo, and is being held close against Auston's chest.

-

Cold dread trickles in initially. What happened last night, why can't he remember, and why the fuck is Auston in his bed?

He glances at his tattoo. Some stars. Huh. Like, he's not besmirching stars, they're pretty cool he guesses. He liked them well enough when he was a kid and he can kinda remember a duvet cover of his that had a rocket ship on it, but he's not invested in them.

It's all besides the point anyway, because he needs to get outta here. At least out of the room, anyway. He's done the walk of shame before, he can totally handle crawling around in the dark to assemble an outfit and skulking out the door without a noise. He's a walk of shame ninja.

The fact he's only done that roughly five times is beside the point. Whatever.

He pulls away slowly so as not to wake him and - oh.

There's a matching tattoo on Auston.

Same position, over his heart, but different a constellation. It clicks. Star signs. They -

They have each other's star signs over their fucking hearts.

Slow, unwelcome realisation dawns as he raises his head and looks around.

Fancy built in shelves along one wall, each little space filled with a mixture of their possessions.

A few favourite books Mitch has read, stacked neatly.

A childhood trophy of Auston's that his mom is half jokingly convinced brings good luck.

Photos of them, over and over. Mostly ones that could be just friendly but others that -

Others that couldn't.

Them kissing on the beach, a candid taken by someone. Auston holding him close and kissing his jaw chastely, how own face a picture of flustered contentment.

Auston sprawled out on the balcony of some fancy place, worse for wear after a night out but still trying to Mitch into his lap. It's somehow made more meaningful by the fact in doing so he's knocking over empty bottles from the night before and Mitch is laughing at him rather than with him.

Another candid of them napping on the Marleau's couch at a family party, their youngest kid squished between them sound asleep and drooling on Mitch's arm.

Mitch pinches himself. He sinks his teeth into his cheek. He presses his thumb hard against the sharp corner of the bedside table.

He doesn't wake up.

It's jarring then, to think how if Auston ended up in whatever the fuck situation this, he'd freak out. He'd probably fall out of bed in his rush to get away from him. He -

He'd never kiss him. Never hold him quite like this. Never laugh and nuzzle at the side of his face to make him laugh like in the photos.

It just wouldn't happen. Auston like girls and, okay. The occasional handy from teammates in juniors, but in his own words, that doesn't count.

In other words, he would not love him. Not romantically anyway.

He looks at the tattoo again. It isn't new, and it's good enough quality that it doesn't look like it was done spur of the moment.

They planned it.

It's like a permenant version of those stupid his and hers bracelets, aka the worst $300 he's ever spent.

He'd stopped wearing his a while back, saying he'd put it down somewhere in the house but it'd turn up eventually. Auston had believed him, but when it got to round about the month mark of it being "lost", Auston stopped wearing his too.

Mitch had tried to think of that as a good thing. They were just maturing, no longer impulse buying couples jewellery like it was a normal thing to do.

Now though - it just stings.

His breath keeps coming shorter and shorter. He needs to wake up before Auston does because he's going to freak out, and even though it's a dream (it has to be), seeing him panic and not want Mitch anywhere near him - he doesn't want that.

He forces himself to breathe, counting the seconds. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

It only partially does the trick because it turns into the most pathetic hiccuping noises.

Auston stirs next to him and Mitch jumps, sliding across the bed until he's curled on his side away from him. He doesn't want to see his expression. He can shout all he likes but. But Mitch thinks it would break him to see the horror and the absolute panic.

He sniffles and makes a weak, sad sort of sound by accident. There's a thousand things he wants to say but that's all that comes out.

I don't know how I did this.

I'm sorry.

I know this is your worst nightmare but it's mine too.

We'll fix it.

Things will go back to normal and we won't speak of this ever again.

Please don't elaborate on why you hate this.

Only. That's not what happens.

Auston rolls closer, throwing his arm over Mitch's waist and kisses the back of his neck sloppily, making a noise that sounds...kind of content actually.

"Morning." He says, voice rough, only with how his face is squished into the back of Mitch's neck it's more "mrningh".

Mitch purposely makes himself go loose limbed, thanking god the blinds are drawn and it's still barely light out so his face looks less puffy.

"Hey." He replies eventually, having to put real effort into not tensing as Auston's fingers stroke idly at his breastbone.

Okay. Okay. Either he's gone just...completely off the rails mad and this is all some hyper realistic hallucination like in the matrix (he hasn't seen the matrix but that's the general plot he's fairly sure) or he's stuck in a dream that could end any second and he's wasting time wigging out.

"Do we even have to be up yet?" Auston says, squeezing him tighter. Mitch looks at his phone.

Fuck.

It's only 6am.

"We have practice at - 9, right?"

"Yeah."

"Kay then, no. We've got like an hour and a half left."

"Thank fuck, okay. I'm gonna just. Sleep s'more."

Mitch fidgets, tapping his fingers against the bed without realising because his brain has apparently decided that just screaming is a fantastic idea.

"Baby, please go the fuck to sleep." Auston groans, kissing behind his ear, speech slurred like he's a second at most from being dead to the world.

It's enough to startle a laugh out of him, even though he knows full well that this - it isn't genuine. He's gonna close his eyes here and wake up back in his real bed, in his real life.

But. What else can he do? Even if he gets up he's just gonna wander around the house torturing himself.

Oh look, a little homely touches that merge both of their tastes. A birthday card to Mitch from Auston's mom. Another photo of them, slow dancing at someone's wedding, laughing and pink cheeked.

It hurts, terribly. Outside of some dumb ha ha aren't they codependent jokes, or the media playing up a bromance, Auston would never do this. Not "staying together long enough to be all cute and domestic". Definitely not in love.

"Hey, you love me right? We're happy?" He murmurs, only a little desperate.

The only response he gets is Auston's quiet, slow breaths.

He shuts his eyes. 


	2. ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's what the catch here is.
> 
> His fake version of Auston will play act everything, or whatever the fuck this counts as, but this isn't love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee this story has latched onto me and won't let go. pull the trigger, gritty.

Only - he was wrong. He doesn't wake up back in the real world at all. He wakes back up to his alarm, and Auston rolling closer to grind his morning wood against his ass.

Mitch shudders from head to toe.

Auston bites where his neck meets his shoulder, and Mitch clenches his fingers in his pillow, making a split second decision. If he's dreaming, what harm can it do to play along? Waking up is gonna hurt no matter what, so why not make the most of it?

He knows, theoretically, that it's a bad decision, that it's self destructive, but-

Auston drags his hand up his thigh and Mitch spreads his legs, tangling one with Auston's so he can anchor himself and grind right back.

"Easy." Auston says, then; "Fuck."

Auston grabs at his hips, moving him so _easily_ to get the best angle. It's hot.

"Only - _god_. Only for you." He says. He meant it jokingly but it comes out as a whine, and too honest to boot.

" _Fuck_. Get naked already."

Mitch laughs, in spite of it all. The fucking romance, but he sure as hell does as he's told.

Auston groans when Mitch manages to get his underwear off and kicks the sheets down. He wastes no time in pushing against his ass again.

 _"God,_ I wanna fuck you." He says, nipping at Mitch's shoulder, and Mitch shakes when he latches on to suck a mark on his skin. He wonders if it'll still be there when he wakes up, a nauseating reminder of what he could have if everything was different. If Auston _actually_ loved him, not whatever sham this is.

He tries to shake the thought off, but it sticks in his head. Auston doesn't love him. He doesn't want him. He wouldn't snuggle up and fall asleep together or wrap his arms around him from behind to kiss his cheek like in one of the stupid photos.

He clings tighter, tangling their fingers together (he wouldn't want this) and pulls his hand down until Auston's got it wrapped around his dick and the spike of _fuck fuck feels good_ whites out the intrusive thoughts for a second.

Auston strokes him slow and easy, still mouthing at his neck, still rubbing up against him harder, a little rougher.

"You can." He pants belatedly. "Please. Fuck me, please."

Auston makes a bitten off, desperate noise.

"We have practice in and hour, I can't - _jesus_ , you can't just say that."

He stops moving his hand and strokes his thumb back and forth over the head of his dick, and Mitch feels like he's been winded, reaching back and urging Auston on, nails sinking into his thigh.

"When we get back, I promise, okay?" Auston says. He's short of breath and Mitch can feel his thrusts faltering. He's so torn between getting his and just letting Auston take what he wants.

That idea in and of itself sets him alight anew because _christ_ , that's what he wants. Maybe laid like this or Mitch with his back against Auston's chest, feeling his fingers press tight to his hips -

He only realises he's saying all that aloud when Auston swears and squeezes at him, jerking him off in tight, almost _rough_ tugs.

"Fuck. _Fuck_ , I love you, god -" He says, toes curling almost enough to give him cramp he's so on edge.

Auston whines and thrusts once, twice against him and comes, hot and messy and all over Mitch's ass and thighs. It's so fucking _hot_ , listening to him, and Mitch squirms. It barely takes a single stroke to have him following, shaking apart in his arms, kissing him. He feels like he's floating.

Auston strokes at his arms, his chest, the back it his hand. It's like he's being put back together, if only for a while.

-

He only adds things up later, when he's getting ready for bed in the dream yet again that - Auston hasn't said he loves him.

That's what the catch here is.

His fake version of Auston will play act everything, or whatever the fuck this counts as, but this isn't love.

It's like a cruel parody of his life. He'll accept Mitch's affection (does he even like it, actually?) but he doesn't _love_ love him. Not in the real world, not here.

He looks at the tattoo again and the picture of them on his bedside table and feels his eyes well up because - twice he's said it now. _I love you,_ feeling natural and soft spilling from his lips.

I love you, your smile, your kisses, the way you just get me. I love your family, your mom seemingly loves us, I want this so much.

I want us to be like this a decade from now, still young and doing stupid shit but going home together.

I want this to be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short, but I tend to write better in short and more frequent chapters, sorry!
> 
> I still don't quite know what's gonna happen with this. There's a number of possible endings and not all of them are happy.
> 
> That said, could I live with myself if I gave Mitch a miserable finale? Probably not. Place your bets now, ladies and mens!


	3. fracture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitch knew it couldn't last, and yet -

They get kind of drunk later that night, curled up on the couch, channel hopping until they accidentally get engrossed in some nature show about really big prehistoric animals. There's a comfortable silence and he's got his head on Auston's chest. It's nice. It's nice until Auston starts talking about the future like any of this is fucking real.

"Do you think you want kids?" Auston says, after filling Mitch in on how the last time he went home his little cousins made him watch a programme all about sharks and then made draw one to colour in. Mitch winces, only half because he knows Auston is terrible at drawing. He'd once drawn a "dog" for a game of pictionary and the tail looked like a fifth leg.

"Kids." Mitch says dumbly.

"Yeah?"

"Auston, come on - " He starts, laughing awkwardly. "That's - we're - it's a bit soon to think about that."

He pinches his arm hard enough to leave a red mark.

He feels Auston freeze for a second.

"I meant in the future, obviously."

Wake up, Mitch thinks. Fucking wake up.

Maybe if he confronts the reality of all this, it'll break him out of whatever the fuck this is.

"I mean. Maybe? If we're together then." It stings to say. He bites hard on his lip.

"What." Auston says, voice barely audible, more like he's mouthing it. "What do you mean-"

Wake up. 

"Just - anything could happen, that's all."

"Mitch, what the fuck are you saying?"

"Look, all I meant was -" He sits up, so he can keep his back to Auston "We're not - _soulmates_. We're only having a good time, right?"

"Are you - jesus, jesus you're serious. I didn't mean with me. I didn't mean _us_!"

He sounds incredulous.

"Auston, I. I know that - wait, what?"

It's like he has whiplash.

He still doesn't snap out of it.

Suddenly it feels like he's been drenched in cold water. What if this is where he lives now, somehow, and he's blown it.

"I don't - I didn't mean _together_. Come on, we couldn't possibly - "

"You don't love me." He says, hoarse, because _oh_. It's happening.

Auston's face has gone from shocked to nauseating blankness.

"What the - Mitch, no. That's not - Mitch, you have to have known. You -"

"You don't - you really don't - I'm. Fuck, I'm sorry, I completely misinterpreted this, huh?"

He hates how he can't even get the words out, and Auston stumbling through excuses is almost making him see red. 

He thinks of all the fucking photos. The one where Auston was pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, laughing. The one of them posing holding up their stupid bracelets. The one of them and Patty's youngest kid, looking like a family of their own if he suspended his disbelief a bit.

If he suspended it a lot.

"Mitch, you've gotta know I love you. But it isn't like - it's not the in love kind. I'm sorry if it came off like that."

Mitch feels like his ears are ringing. Some bit of him expected to be wrong. For Auston to kiss him again and reassure him.

_Oh baby, I'm sorry, of course I love you, I'm sorry. I love you so much._

He really thought that was the end game.

It's such a weird between place, reality warped so that he gets all the trappings of a real relationship (the domesticity, the photos, the physical) but it wasn't - it isn't like...real. Even here, it isn't real.

It's all the more infuriating because he knows it's a lucid dream and he has all along, but not lucid enough he can control it, apparently.

"I'm gonna go to bed." He says, and Auston is still silent, looking shellshocked.

"I - sure. Okay." He murmurs, not looking at him.

Mitch goes to sleep in the spare room, and it's cold enough that it feels like it sinks into his bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this too much? Am I being too cruel? I mean, probably, but I'm not gonna let that stop me.
> 
> That said, I'm also a big old dumb gay softie so this will probably all work out.
> 
> Probably.
> 
> Thanks for reading! This was originally gonna be a set of dabbles but I can't do things in 100 words so we'll stick with this format. 
> 
> Pwease vawidate mí.


	4. rift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had to end somewhere, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

He wakes up for real, properly, in his own bed the next day. The date is as it should be, the other side of the bed is untouched, and the weather is awful.

He feels nothing, like he's too blindsided or overloaded or something. It's hard to articulate even to himself.

It wasn't even nice whilst it lasted, which seems like a scam.

He doesn't notice the lovebite on his shoulder until he showers and feels physically sick.

-

He sits on the sofa with his untouched breakfast, waiting for Auston to pick him up for practice because it's his turn this week, and even though he loathes driving in Toronto, he'll do it. Provided he gets complete control of the music.

Mitch thinks about the dream on a loop, even though that's all it was. He's not fooling himself here. 

Yet still, tiny little details he hadn't remembered at the time filter through. Auston kissing his cheek in the hallway when he made a late night grocery run. Mitch pressing his cold hands beneath Auston's shirt and hearing him give the most undignified yelp. Letting him spread his thighs and fingerfuck him until Mitch was scoring red lines down his back and promising anything just to come.

Hearing him talk about having a fucking family and thinking - Mitch feels his shoulders draw inwards with humiliation - thinking Auston meant with _him_.

_Jesus, you're serious?! I didn't meant us!_

Like it was such an outlandish idea that he recoiled.

Mitch thinks of when they were playing mini sticks with Patty's kids last time (they said they were coerced but they both know better) and their eyes had met and -

Whatever.

If he stops being so fucking dumb for a second, it was outlandish. They're 23, which is no time to have kids - there's no way he wants them yet anyway - but he has a feeling that wasn't the part Auston found so objectionable. The bit he found incomprehensible was the fact is was with him.

-

He tries to be normal, but it's difficult. A week later, it's difficult, a month later, the pain hasn't gone away. It hasn't even lessened.

He's in love with Auston. Properly so, not just infatuated. He knows now that he has been for a good while.

The thing is though, he's been pulling away subtly for a period of time. The bracelet, the no spooning rule (it had only happened once anyway), limiting their hugs. Sure, it won't make it better, but it'll stop it getting worse.

If, sometimes, he looks at Auston's hands and wants them on him, gentle, or wants to - fucking hell - kiss him, be held, sleep by him - well. It's easy enough to suppress.

-

What isn't easier is when Auston says he loves him, offhand, because he'd been roasting Willy about his latest crush. He doesn't mean it like that. He doesn't fucking mean it, but it still makes Mitch feel like choking.

He settles for laughing, weakly.

"Thanks." He says, wryly. He wrinkles his nose.

He doesn't look up to see Auston's reaction, though Mitch doesn't know who he's kidding by expecting one. He's seen what Auston looks like in love, and it's a very private and tender thing, in spite of his love of taking frankly devastatingly attractive selfies with them.

He remembers a long term girlfriend coming to pick him up after practice, mock catcalling him as he walked towards her car, and Mitch hadn't been able to look away like the masochist he is. As Auston closed the door the wing mirror caught his reflection and he'd just...leant in to kiss her softly, eyes closed, her hand tenderly brushing his cheek.

The point is that he knows Auston likes him very much. He knows that Auston likes laidback hot brunette girls that enjoy chirping back, too. He knows that the nature of that affection isn't the same.

  
-

One night, when they're flying back into Toronto, Mitch falls asleep on Auston's shoulder and it's the most peaceful sleep he's had in weeks.

At least, it is until he comes round. He'd rubbed his cheek against Auston a couple of times, snuggling in, and Auston was kind of awkwardly putting an arm around him. Suddenly, sharply, he'd regained conciousness.

He recoils so fast he nearly falls out of his seat.

"Fuck, sorry man." He says, stomach twisting. "Sorry, I should have brought like. A neck pillow. Sorry."

"Hey, Mitch, it's okay." He whispers, nonplussed. It's dark, quiet, and only a few of the overhead lights are on.

"No it isn't, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Mitch knows his voice is shaking.

Auston stares at him, concerned, and goes to put his hand on Mitch's arm like he thinks it'll be soothing and without thinking, Mitch snatches it away.

He doesn't think he's imagining the hurt on Auston's face.

"Sorry." He mumurs back. "Just. Weird bad dream."

"Wanna talk about it?

If Mitch shook his head any faster his brain would rattle in his skull.

Auston frowns.

"Yknow, when Breyana was young and had a bad dream I'd build her a den in the middle of the night even though I had school the next day? She'd sleep because she thought it'd keep monsters out."

I don't want to know, Mitch thinks. Stop telling me this shit like I'm gonna meet your family and it'll be relevant.

Instead of saying anything, he nods and listens as Auston tells him about that tiny, soft bit of his childhood until he feels his eyelids grow heavy again. He imagines Auston sliding his hand into his own and pulling him close again, saying he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say. I'm a glutton for angst, and I fucked over my shoulder at the gym, which is highly reccomended if you want to write awful things, but not recommended for...anything else.
> 
> I'm trying to get this done by the end of hannukah but if not, christmas, pwease be kind <3


	5. critical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you know he wants to shout, because at this point, how could Auston not? I know our friendship is on limited time right now. I'm sorry.

  
The breaking point comes much sooner than expected. All the way home, Auston had spoken about how his entire family are visiting in a couple of weeks and how he can't wait. His voice is all soft and scratchy from sleep and the recycled air of the plane, and Mitch thinks too much about how domestic it feels. Even though none of it is for him, he lets himself imagine, just for a second.

Or at least, he tries to. The second he tries to force himself into the picture (meeting his family formally, sharing a bed, going up on his toes to kiss him) he just remembers the dream and how Auston had freaked. Then he sees the hoodie that Auston didn't take with him in the passenger seat, the same one he'd snuggled into on the plane.

He shouldn't be wanting like this. It should be enough that Auston's his best friend. It's so greedy to think that he should get more.

Fuck, he's crying for real now, sat just outside Auston's gate and dithering about whether to give him his own hoodie back. It's fucking creepy.

Not that that stops him holding it to his chest. Just for a little. It's not like anybody knows, but even that's cold comfort. He knows he'll get over him eventually, because these things pass, surely. He's acknowledged the impossibility of the situation. He knows it was just a dream, that it didn't mean anything, that -

That for all Auston's affection, it isn't the same as how Mitch wants it, and it won't be, and that's fine - it just. Hurts.

His eyes eventually dry and he gives the hoodie one last squeeze before he casts it back onto the passenger seat. He'll hand it back tomorrow.

-

Only, it doesn't go back to normal.

Mitch is really really trying. He's being so careful about not being so clingy anymore. He still hangs out with Auston, but he prefers to do it in a group. They still sing along to music in the car, but he's deleted "their" playlist. He still hugs Auston, just more occasionally now instead of "I'm hanging on and I'm never letting go". He gives Auston back the hoodie promptly. He lays the congrats on thick if Auston picks up, and if he doesn't he makes sure to stiffen up when they pile into a taxi and Auston leans against him. They still have the matching suit, but Mitch plays down the idea of getting another. He pulls away. It's probably unhealthy that they were so close anyway.

It's exhausting, but Auston still looks at him with a pinched sort of expression more and more often. Mitch wants to shake him.

 _I know you know_ he wants to shout, because at this point, how could Auston not? _I know our friendship is on limited time right now. I'm sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short but the holidays were fresh fuckhead hell and I slept like 3 days solid when they were over and lost my notes and [ten minute long scream]
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed. I do feel slightly terrible for being mean to Mitch but I stand by the fact I think that when he falls in love he's a fucking goner. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! >°○°>♡•°•°♡•°♡


	6. tenterhooks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitch closes his eyes, because they're stinging and he's trying not to cry about how this is the last time he'll get that, the hand holding. It was never even his to have in the first place, but -

Auston corners him a fortnight later, sliding into the passenger seat of his car uninvited and making Mitch jump.

"Sorry." He says, but he's not looking at him, and his miffed expression is back.

There's a weighted pause, then;

"What the _fuck_ is going on with us?"

Mitch blanches.

"I-"

"Do _not_ say you don't know what I mean, I swear to god -"

Mitch stays silent. Now he's staring this whole thing in the face, any sense of addressing this carefully has flow out his head.

"I'm sorry." He says simply. "I'm. I'm trying."

Auston keeps glowering.

"Meaning _what_ , exactly?"

Mitch can understand his confusion. He only suspects, only knows half the details.

"I'm just going through some shit."

"Like what exactly? You tell me this stuff."

Mitch looks away.

"You're just gonna have to trust me on this one. You don't wanna know."

Auston frowns.

"Bullshit. You're barely even talking to me anymore."

Silence, dragging. What is he even supposed to say.

"I'm not doing this to - be mean or something. I just- there's nothing to say."

"So what, we're supposed to just not talk now?"

Suddenly, Mitch's eyes are stinging. He's going to lose Auston either way, he realises. If he doesn't explain, they're just not gonna even talk, and their entire friendship will wither to nothing. If he does -

If he does, he'll have to fully acknowledge that he really has gotten _absolutely deluded_ because he had one singular dream of being with Auston like he's wanted to be for maybe a year. He'd managed to keep it compartmentalised until that but something about the dream shattered that like glass.

He's gonna have to face whatever arises from explaining head on, and it won't be good but -

He takes a deep breath.

And another more choked one.

It feels like someone is pressing down on his breastbone and he knows it'll turn into hyperventilating if he doesn't get a handle on it.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for how - I'm sorry about how I've been. I need you to know that before I tell you, okay?"

Auston looks concerned at his voice jumping, reaching out. He takes both of Mitch's hands in his, maybe to comfort him, maybe to stop how he's compulsively picking his hangnails.

"Sorry about what?"

Mitch closes his eyes, because they're stinging and he's trying not to cry about how this is the last time he'll get that, the hand holding. It was never even his to have in the first place, but -

He's gonna tell all, and Auston will pull away like his touch burns and - fuck, his chest feels tight again - he has to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid like try and grab onto them. He very conciously keeps them lax when Auston squeezes them, doesn't hold them back.

 _I don't want you to go away_ , he thinks. _I always want you around._

_But I know that's not for me to decide._

Mitch sighs shakily. He doesn't particularly want to do this in the fucking parking garage of the arena.

"Can we go to yours? I'll explain, I promise, I just - not here. Is that okay?"

Auston stares at him, rubbing a hand over his face, then nods.

"It's not like I have a choice, is it? I'll follow you back." He sighs.

Mitch waits until the door slams shut before he lets out a breath. He doesn't feel any better for it. He starts the engine.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is mostly a tease but also to say I BEAT MY WRITER'S BLOCK ON THIS ONE AT LAST, SOMEONE GET THE CLIQUOT AND PARTY STREAMERS!! 
> 
> *the girl from vine voice* show meeee supporrrrt!!!

**Author's Note:**

> oho ho it's this old trope. don't get me wrong, I love Mitch, he's my favourite, but he does seem like when he falls in love, he falls hard. this time he was unfortunate enough that it was with Auston. 
> 
> anyways I love validation


End file.
